Mama to many: Where have the last four years gone?

My dear, sweet Turkey,

Today you are officially four years old. I can only vaguely remember a time when I was not your mother, and mostly I try not to. You have made my life so much fuller and beautiful in so many ways. I can still remember the moment I found out you were growing inside of me. I waited anxiously for the test results early in the morning in early November. I remember trying to busy myself with other things in the bathroom, when all I wanted to do was stare and the test and watch for that magical second line.

Obviously, the second line was there.............

You have always been such a sweet and sensitive child. When you were a baby you loved to be held, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Not much has changed.....although holding now isn't quite as easy as it once was. I have spent every day with you, watching you grow into the most wonderful little man. You have been through so much in your short life, more than anyone should have to endure and you have come through it with ease, much to your daddy and I's amazement.

There are times when you remind me so much of myself, it makes me catch my breath. Then you show your daddy's traits and I relax a little. You are funny beyond your years and often make me cry with your constant hilarity. Your comic timing is genius.

You have the most magical love for music and I am so excited to see where that love takes you. I hope you do more with it then I did, because I will always regret not sticking with my first love. You already have an adult taste for tunes, your favorites are Journey, Heart and Parliament. Classics. Like you. All I have to do is turn on "Give up the Funk" and you are dancing and singing away like it is the most natural thing in the world. And it is. Who needs a backseat DVD player when you have music man.........

Your sensitivity is something that worries me for your future. You have such a heavy dose of it; a lot from me and even more from your daddy. I have had to teach myself over the years to not be so sensitive and my heart aches already for all the pain you will endure over the years because of it. I hope you learn to control it someday, but never totally lose it. You will be hurt by other kids, by the girls, by me. Hopefully most of it will not be intentional, but merely a result of your sensitive nature.

You are a rockin' big brother, a total natural. When we had Isabella you never batted an eye. You were never jealous of her or the attention I had to give her. Through her illnesses, her struggles and my own battles, you stayed strong and caring, but never jealous. You seemed to sense that things were not well with your little sister and you were always so gentle and loving to her. You loved to just hold her and she loved it too. You love Rollie Pollie just as much, perhaps even more since you are older and more knowing. You have enjoyed watching him grow in the normal way. Hey, at least when you take a toy from him, you always offer to replace it. Heh.

Every day it seems you grow a little more, mature a little more and learn a little more. You love to be outside and could happily spend hours sans clothes running in the grass, playing in the mud. You are a true Daddy's Boy and light up the minute he comes home from work. When you were just a toddling baby you and I would wait for him to get home and your short, chubby legs would carry you to his truck where he would sweep you up and let you "drive" in the driveway. You still love to do that today. You have a very special bond with your Daddy and it makes my heart swell just thinking of it.

I hope you always know just how much we both love you, and how happy we are that we had you. You are a true miracle and everyday you are in my life is a better, sweeter day. I hope your childhood is filled with magic and wonder and that you never forget where you came from.