OK, first of all you need to get pregnant. Totally basic stuff here, usually anyways.
Second, you need to have what everyone (including you!) thinks is a normal, healthy pregnancy.
Third, you need to give birth to a "healthy" baby.
Fourth, you need to find out in the coming days/weeks/months/years that something is terribly wrong with your "healthy" baby and your world needs to crumble around you. (The hard part)
At this point everyone around you will clamor to help and comfort you in any way they can. You will be amazed at everyone's compassion and generosity. You will experience a surge of love for all of your family members and friends like you have never experienced. This will go on for sometime, you will think you have been blessed by the gods with wonderfully supportive people who will never turn their backs on you. You are wrong.
Now your not-so-healthy baby has to die. (The hardest part.)
Where is all that love? The compassion? The generosity? The clamoring? Wh-wh-wh-wha?
Gone. Poof. Just like that.
Nobody wants to touch a dead child! Nobody wants to call you and see how you are doing. Nobody wants to even ASK how you are doing. Nobody dares to mention your dead child's name, because "what if you CRY for pete's sake??" Then what??
You grieve and you grieve alone. Your family? Your friends? They move on. It's so easy for them, too easy in fact. It's better to just not think about it. I mean, after all SHE is better off now right? She had no real life..........death was good for her. We can all rest easy now. They ASSume you feel the same way. They are wrong.
There you go, I told you it was easy-peasy!!