I think I might actually be crazy.......

Ok, so husband and I are doing this whole child birth thing this time, au natural. I guess I should say that *I* am doing it au natural....husband will just be watching! Well, he'll be helping me, providing massage, words of encouragement, someone to strangle, etc. We did indeed hire a Doula and I am so excited. We will call her "wonder woman". Wonder woman is very nice and oh so intelligent on all things "natural" when it comes to child birth. I am SO excited for this and completely terrified! I love the labor and delivery part of pregnancy, it's such an amazing climax and just plain amazing. I cannot wait to meet Rollie Pollie and see his beautiful face, smell him and feed him with my body. I did not get to have the wonderful breastfeeding relationship with Isabella, because of her disorder. It's been a long time since I have breastfed a sweet little baby and I am READY! It's just so amazing and wonderful to see just what the woman's body is capable of. It's a perfect, whole food. God's gift to our babies!!

So, my previous two munchkins were "medical" births. I have nothing against "medical" births really, simply because I had none of the common complications of them. I guess I got lucky.....or something like that. I have always been anti-induction unless it's an emergency situation (more often than not today, it's NOT) but I grateful for the induction of Isabella. Something in me told me to do it and Thank God I did. You see, we did not yet know of Isabella's severely under developed brain and because of that, she may have never sent my body into labor. The day we decided to induce, they broke my water first and it was stained with meconium (aka, baby poo). Had I not been induced that day, Isabella may have died in utero. It gives me chills just to think of it. My body simply was not responding to her the way it did to Jackson, and now, in hindsight we know why. I was lucky though and my induction went smoothly and quickly. Many other women do not have the same results. But I won't bore you with those stats. You just have to educate yourself! Don't rely on your doctor, please! Trust me, they *do not* have *your* best interest in mind. My OB just flat out told me last week that she wants to induce me for *convenience*. Mine or hers? Hmmmm..... I'm going to go with hers. :O Obviously I am not going to be induced, for anybody's convenience. Rollie Pollie is coming, ready or not. I just have to wait. I'm already uncomfortable, why not endure it for a full 40 weeks??? Shocking, I know.

So, natural child birth. Eeek! I know I can do it and blessedly husband knows I can do it. Whenever I ask if he is getting nervous he just says "no way, I know that you can do this, no problem". Nice! I know I can too, but the thought is still scary. Anything unknown is scary though right? We'll see. I will just be relying on husband, wonder woman and God. :) Hope they pull throug! Hope *I* pull through. "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can". Maybe there is a deeper reason "The Little Engine that Could" has always been my favorite book. :) Such optimism! How can you not love that?