Thursday, November 8, 2007

The glorious birth

So.........on October the 22nd (a Monday) at 8 am I walked into my kitchen to grab a little cup of coffee. Husband was just getting ready to leave for work and I felt a gush. I kind of paused and felt another gush of water and then one more. I yelled at Husband, "I think my water just broke". He laughed and said "WHAT??" I really thought women's water broke before labor only in the movies. Of course in the movies the women gives birth about 5 minutes later, right? Wrong. So I confirm that water has broken (I'm soakin' my clothes here man), call everyone we know, we get giddy with anticipation and then we wait. And wait. And wait some more. Labor should start any minute, right? I call my doula, we talk about things to do to get labor going, she says she's coming over. I have rested, I have cleaned, I am getting a little impatient here. So around 4 pm Doula shows up and we start some accupressure. Don't tell her, but I don't think that crap works. It sure didn't for me! I had a few contractions here and there, but nothing regular or consistent. So around 6 pm Husband and I decide to go to the mall and walk. We do two rounds all the way around the mall and I can't do it anymore, my back was killing me!! So we go home and wait. At this point my mom and his mom are there staring at me. I know they were just excited, but it was starting to drive me a little crazy.

At 9 pm we decide to drive up to the hospital to see where I'm at and make a decision. Doula thinks we should just stay home, labor will start. I'm more concerned about infection risk (I had been super careful all day and checked my temp regularly just to be sure) so I want to go. We get there and endure more waiting. We get a non-stress test and the nurse freaks a little when she finds out my water has been broken for 16 hours and I'm just now strollin' in the doors. I tell her my temp is fine and baby has been moving fine. She's says "oooooookay" like I'm crazy. :)

Rollie Pollie looks good, they confirm my water has indeed broken (no kidding!) and say that my cervix is 3 centimeters dilated and I'm 60% effaced. Grrr. So the on call midwife (not MY midwife) wants to start me on pitocin immediately and get the baby out. I say "no thanks", but I WILL stay over night and let you monitor me until morning. She's OK with that and we decide to re-evaluate in the AM when it's been 24 hours post rupture.

So we get settled in our room and I try to sleep. SO not happening. All I can think is "C'mon body!!! Go into labor!!" My body has done this a time or two before so I'm completely confused as to why it won't just get it over with already! I really didn't want pitocin, I planned on a natural birth and didn't think I could do it with the pit. Those contractions HURT!

So it's 9 am on Tuesday. No labor. No promise of labor. I'm so bummed. And tired. So I consent to the pitocin. But only on the agreement that it would be increased very, very, very slowly and once my body got into a good productive pattern, nobody would touch it. All agreed, except our stupid nurse. (I could write a novel about this nurse, but I won't. Bascially, she sucked and we had two or three arguments, she had a few with my doula, my husband, my mom and the list goes on. She sucks.)

Anyways, pitocin gets started, husband and I start walking the halls of the womens center. We walk, I do the birthing ball, we walk more, I rest. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. So around noon things are starting to get hoppin' in my body thank goodness. If I remember correctly contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart. Nice! So I order some lunch because I'm starving......and since I'm going natural, I can eat! Yeah! Lunch arrives at 1pm and I have to inhale it between contractions which are about 2-3 minutes apart and getting intense. I'm having to really focus through them at this point and people in the room are starting to annoy me. We had LOTS or people. The whole extended fam PLUS Jackson.......who at this point needs a nap and is whining non-stop. So I order everyone except husband and doula out of the room. I can just sense that it's about to get all kinds of ugly. It's 2 pm now and I request to have my cervix checked (haven't had it checked since the night before because of the broken water) I am 5 cm and 80% effaced. It pisses me off a little (ok a lot) because I feel like I should be further along. I think to myself "I still have a couple of hours or so left". Nope.

So now it's 2:15 or so and I am not a happy serene girl anymore. All of a sudden my contractions are 1-2 minutes apart and they are not friendly contractions. They mean business. They want this baby out. I decide I want to get in the tub, I think it will feel good and I am right. It was wonderful. I decide to stay there. I am crying at this point (with tears and everything) and I remember looking at Husband at one point bawling saying "It hurts SO bad, it really does". He looks at me with sympathy but always says "you can do this". So we're in the tub. Now contractions are one on top of the other. I'm only getting about 30 seconds in between to rest and I'm basically spending that time dreading the next contraction. I'm getting panicked and start demanding an epidural. I am yelling at my doula and telling her I can't do it, blah blah blah. She of course just says "yes you can". So now she thinks I'm complete because I'm writhing around in the tub yelling my head off. Nurse checks me and like an idiot says "I can't find her cervix, where did it go??" She keeps fishing for it and I finally grab her hand out and say "that HURTS!" Doula informs her she cannot find my cervix because I'm fully dilated. Dummy.

Here is where I get really pissed off in a big hurry. My midwife informs us that we can't birth in the tub because we are banking Rollie Pollie's cord blood. So I have to get OUT OF THE TUB, dry off, change clothes and somehow WALK to the bed. I'm pissed. No, I'm furious. I'm in agony. I get up, with the help of big strong Husband of course. I'm freakin' nekkid from the waist down, standing in the bathroom while the nurse takes 5 MINUTES to figure out how to get my wet shirt off with me being hooked up the the IV pole. I start screaming at her to figure it out and just as I am about to rip out my IV she gets it. Idiot! (really, she was a nasty nurse, don't feel sorry for her.) So we get a dry shirt on me and I somehow make it to the bed where I colapse and start moaning and yelling again. My mom, mother in law and sister in law are in there at this point looking pretty horrified at my state of being......I'm sure it was a sight. So we are pushing. Excuse me, I'M pushing and it feels so darn good. Painful, but the best kind of pain. I push twice and out came my 5lb 15oz Rollie Pollie at 2:45 pm. I caught him myself and brought him up to my chest where he found the breast all by himself. (Yes, really) It was wonderful, beautiful, GLORIOUS. I wish I had done all my babies this way. Bonding has been so easy and peaceful this time around and the breastfeeding down right easy compared with my other two. Well, we can't really count Isabella right? I couldn't have done it without my doula, bless her. She took some serious abuse from me the last 20 minutes or so, but she saved Husband from receiving it, which he greatly appreciated. Really, truly and honestly, the pain was only "unbearable" for 20-30 minutes max. Not bad right? Contractions aren't the hard's transition that gets you. I didn't know I was in transition, I just knew that the pain was horrible and continuous and I wasn't sure how long I was going to have to endure that. Thank God, it was a short amount of time. I did scream for the epidural once or twice, but nobody listened to me (I had instructed everyone to NOT give in no matter how much I begged). Luckily, I couldn't have received one anyways, by the time I was yelling for it, I was dilated to 10 centimeters. Beautiful, just beautiful. I guess I should start growing my under arm hair out and call myself Hippie, huh? Oh, only kidding you hippies out there.

Rollie Pollie is doing so great, he is an awesome, inspiring joy in my life and I feel blessed to have him and the birth experience that came along with him. I feel so *empowered* and strong. It's that whole "I am woman, here me roar" , it's so cliche, but true! I'm unstoppable and now I know it. I can really do anything if I want it bad enough and believe hard enough. How incredible is that to finally realize your ability and own strength? Not that I have ever felt "weak" in life, but everyone wonders what they are really capable of. Yes, I want XYZ, but can I really do it?? Yeah, you can.

Enough of that. I'm off to snuggle my "booshee bear" (every kid I pop out gets their own unique array of nicknames, just whatever springs to my mind when I look at them) and Rollie Pollie is no different. For now it's "booshee bear" and I love it. Where it came from? The depths of my crazy mind is all I can tell you. He looks like a "booshee" whatever that is. Someone google that and get back to me! It'd be interesting to see what comes up. ;)

Oh, one more thing. Isabella, my darling, thank you for watching over us and your new little brother. I know you had a hand in this whole thing you beautiful girl and I love you so much. When I look at Rollie Pollie I am reminded of you everyday in the most precious of ways. Thanks for the healing process............

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